


we gon' burn the whole house down

by loriedapotxto



Series: mcyt fanfics :] [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Arson, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, TommyInnit and Wilbur Soot and Tubbo are Siblings, i dont have anything to tag here sorry-, that tag is criminally empty so watch me make it suggested when writing-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loriedapotxto/pseuds/loriedapotxto
Summary: Phil stared at Tommy, Wilbur, Techno and Tubbo who were all standing sheepishly in front of him, except for Techno.“Let me get this straight,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “you committed arson on the ex-king’s house?”Tommy only grimaced, and rubbed the side of his right arm, “Well, it wasn’t just me alone, —Tubbo, Wil and Techno encouraged it I swear— Ranboo was there, and it was all just a prank! Come on, Phil! You always ruin our fun!” He groaned.OR: Tommy burns down George’s house except it’s less dramatic and everyone laughs except for Techno because he is responsible™. Also, Wilbur was never stabbed to death by his father, and there is no government in L’Manberg.[Title from Burn the House Down by AJR]
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, only platonic relationships - Relationship
Series: mcyt fanfics :] [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122227
Comments: 4
Kudos: 113





	we gon' burn the whole house down

**Author's Note:**

> i just wrote a 1.5k word story full of wil snapping at phil so i was like i wanna make something crack so this exists
> 
> warning: written at 1am even though my online family keeps telling me to sleep so i apologize for mistakes :p
> 
> thanks to niki/naii for the beta! i'm sorry i didn't sleep at 12am like i told you i would :(

Phil was sitting near the campfire in the cabin, a good book about mobs in his lap and a mug of newly brewed hot cocoa cradled in his hand.

He took a small sip of his drink, enjoying the sweet taste of it on his lips, before his door was promptly thrown open harshly.

He sighed, setting down his mug and book on the nearby coffee table and crossed his arms before turning to the one who broke his door.

And in all of his cliche green hoodie and smiley-mask glory, stood Dream.

The winged-man raised an eyebrow at the Admin, then looked behind him to see if anything was happening. He saw his sons and his long time friend, Technoblade, all standing outside the cabin carrying equal faces of embarrassment. 

“Yes, Dream? Is there anything so important you had to literally bust down my door?” Phil asked, voice monotone. He just wanted to sit on the fluffy chair in the middle of the room, reading books and drinking hot cocoa.

Dream coughed, then shook his head. “I’m sorry about your door, but there’s something I need to tell you,” he continued.

Phil once again raised an eyebrow and turned to his sons outside who looked like they wanted the ground to swallow them whole and his friend looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Well, you see…”

~

The group of four was ushered inside by Dream, who now sat on the couch, looking heavily amused at the conversation (more like Phil staring disapprovingly at his children and friend) happening between Phil and his kids. 

Phil stared at Tommy, Wilbur, Techno and Tubbo who were all standing sheepishly in front of him, except for Techno because god forbid the great mighty Technoblade look ashamed of something that wasn’t big and grand like tripping over his cape during his coronation in the Empire.

“Let me get this straight,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “you committed arson on the ex-king’s house?” 

Tommy only grimaced, and rubbed the side of his right arm, “Well, it wasn’t just me alone, —Tubbo, Wil and Techno encouraged it I swear— Ranboo was there, and it was all just a prank! Come on, Phil! You always ruin our fun!” He groaned.

“And besides!” Tubbo continued, hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “doesn’t everyone else’s houses get burned down all the time?” 

Phil nodded, _‘valid point,’_ he mused.

He looked to Dream as the said-man sat up from his lying position on the couch.

“Ugh, Phil! Why don’t you guys have sport channels!” Dream yelled accusatorily, hand over his heart.

Phil rolled his eyes. “Because we don’t watch sports like a certain American from Florida who plays Minecraft for a living?” The last part was meant to be in a teasing gesture, but Dream took it to heart.

Dream huffed, “Well, stop being British and start watching sports channels!” He argued.

Tommy, Tubbo, Wilbur and Techno stared confusingly at the conversation happening in front of them. How, why and when did they go from talking about Tommy committing arson to talking about sports channels?

“You—You can’t just ask someone to not be British so they would have sports channels on their TV, Dream.” Phil laughed, watching in mild interest as Dream was straight up _moping_ on his couch. 

“Should we be concerned?” Tubbo asked, looking at his companions. Tommy looked like he wanted to do something that involved Dream and George, —probably apologizing—, but knowing Tommy, he won’t apologize without putting up a fight. Maybe he wanted to burn another house down for the sake of his fun.

Wilbur looked amused as well at the events unfolding in front of them, simply shaking his head and saying a cheery “nope”, popping the ‘p’.

Techno coughed, not too loudly but loud enough to get the masked man and the father’s attention. “So, are we going to ignore the fact that Tommy burned down George’s house and probably stole stuff too?”

Dream seemed to remember then the younger blond had griefed his friend’s house, so he looked to Phil to see his answer.

Phil looked deep in thought, his brow furrowed and arms crossed as he stood there, looking for an answer. 

After a while of not talking, Phil shook his head. “Well, Dream, like Wil said, everyone’s houses get burned down all the time; and besides, they built the house again, so nothing to be mad about.” He said in an even voice.

It was Dream’s turn to look deep in thought, while Tommy and Tubbo looked nervous and Techno and Wilbur looked amused.

Dream too shook his head and laughed after a while, “You’re right, Phil. Everyone’s houses gets burned down, —even when there’s no war happening— so, as long as Tommy and Ranboo apologize to George, I don’t see anything to punish.”

Tommy groaned, hiding his face in his hands. He didn't want to apologize to _GeorgeNotFound_ of all people! He would rather be in exile or be doing stupid shit rather than do that! Tubbo had a bright grin on his face, shaking Tommy with the occasional “You aren’t going to die!” and "You aren't going to be doing something too bad!" mixed in.

Wilbur grinned in triumph as Techno handed him 3 emeralds, muttering about Wilbur being too good with words, which is why Dream and Phil were convinced to not do anything rational to Tommy. The musician stuck his tongue out for a brief second at Techno, —a habit he did as a kid when he won a bet— then joined the hug (could you call that a hug?) where Tommy looked mad like his usual self and Tubbo looked relieved that Tommy would live and not be punished by Dream or George.

Phil and Dream chuckled at their antics. Tommy still owed an apology to George, but for now, they were happy with the light atmosphere.

And if George hugged Tommy and Ranboo too tight after their apologies, it was no one’s tale to tell for the sake of Tommy’s reputation.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this fic which was made at 1am :)


End file.
